Special guest edition - car-based scams!

Currently, we're selling our old car. Which means this week I'm now getting a very exclusive type of scamming git phone me up/email me - the car scammer. Here's what's happened so far, son:

The Email Scam

"Marten" emails me, asking whether the car is still in the same condition and what the final price for my car is. His email address is very obviously not UK-based, and I know this scam from a previous car sale - it's basically money laundering. He would want to overpay me and says he'll arrange pickup of the car later because he's abroad, and he'd expect me to send him the difference via Western Union (about as safe as stuffing an envelope with used tenners). He would then stop the transfer after I've untraceably sent him his free cash, or he'd have transferred it from a stolen account - basically, a villain. So as I know full well that it's a con, I've had a few back and forth emails...

Me: Hello Marten, yes the car is still for sale but the condition has changed due to a slight incident. Because of that I'm willing to take £1500.

<later>

Marten: Hello. Yes, that sounds OK. What is the incident please? The car is for my wife who is still in UK - I am an engineer working in Germany. She is looking for such a model for driving in the town.

If it is acceptable to you because I am overseas I will pay by transfer but this can only be done in block amount of £5000. You can then transfer the remainder to me by money transfer (Western Union) and I will then arrange for the car to be picked up.

Regards,

Marten

Me: Hello Marten,

Yes, the incident. Well I'm afraid the car is a little smaller than it used to be. I'm afraid while copying something I saw Jeremy Clarkson do on Top Gear I repeatedly rolled the car and it is now only 10 inches square - thankfully I was thrown clear and only suffered a fractured eyebrow (left) and a bruised frenulum.

The keyring is still fully operational, hence my price of £1500 as all you will need to do is have a new car fitted and then it will be fine. Or, if you happen to be approximately 2 inches tall you may be able to drive the car as is.

<later>

Marten: I do not think you take my offer seriously. Is the car still for sale or not? I will now only pay £1400.


Me: Hello Marten,

I assure you the car is still for sale. However, let's be honest. You're not going to pay anything because you want me to just send you a load of cash via an untraceable service. But kudos to you for haggling over the precise amount you were going to rip me off by - that's grade A villainy! Thanks though - I was going to send myself a test email to see if the redirect on the advert was working, but you've saved me the bother!


Marten has now stopped responding to my messages. Shame!