Hey hey hey, we're back with some super new scammer-baiting fun! This happened just this very afternoon...

Me: Hello?
G: Hello sir, this is George calling from Computer Support. I am talking to the main user of the Windows Computer?
Me: Well yes, that's me, but...
G: <cutting me off> Well sir, we are phoning today to let you know that there is a problem with a virus with your PC
Me: Wait, hang on - a virus? This isn't about the printer?
G: Printer? No, no printer.
Me: OK, did head office put you on to me, because we've been phoning about that flipping printer all week and now you're phoning from support and saying we've got a virus?
G: Yes sir, you have a virus on your PC and I would like to be taking you through the steps to remove it. Now, can you click on the start menu please?
Me: Hold on to your ponies, Jeff. We'll do that in a sec but I need to get this sorted first. I've been having to hand-write receipts for customers on the back of carpet tiles all week because you haven't fixed this printer, and in this costume it's flip-flip-flippin' difficult with the hands and all
G: I am <unintelligible> costume and carpet?
Me: yeah, you know - the costume. The monkey costume. Don't you have to wear one at head office?
G: I am calling from Computer Support sir, I am not your head office
Me: You're not? Who do you think you're calling, Jim?
G: I am talking to the main Windows Computer user, yes?
Me: Well I am here, but you've phoned the Uttoxeter branch of Carpet Chimp, the UK's no. 1 simian-themed carpet sales shop. Our prices are oo oo oo out of this world! You must have seen the adverts?
G: I...<unintelligible> company?
Me: Anyway, I've been using carpet tiles instead of paper since Billy from the warehouse got his mandrill head caught in the printer and jammed it up. So are you going to send someone over or not? I'm running out of sample books and I'll be onto the deep shag next! Hello?
G: <klik>