Thursday 14 March 2013

Hello Anna...

Well I haven't had a call for a while, but today "Anna" phoned me. Lucky Anna!

Me: hello?
Anna (said at breakneck speed, with so much background noise it sounds like she's in the middle of a rock festival): Hello sir, I am calling from the technical department of your computer company as we have been receiving some error messages from your computer so I'm going to help you get this right, OK?
Me (adopting a thick west country accent): Owww, righto Aaaaaarnaaaaaarrrr, we'd better get that sorrrrrted eh?
A: Now sir, can you tell me what is the Windows version you are using?
Me (Scouse accent): Eh, our Anna, we've got Window Vista 'ere, eh? eh? Is that OK, innit?
A (seemingly oblivious): Yes sir, Windows Vista is fine. Now, can you please click on the Start menu and tell me what you see?
Me (upper class 1940s style Englishman): I say, Anna, this is a bit of a rum do. It seems my difference engine isn't responding just now. Do you think it's Jerry up to his old tricks, what? Something to do with those blighters at Bletchley Park?
A: I'm sorry, who is Jerry?
Me (cockney): You know love, Jerry Sport - USB Port! Apples and pears, apples an pears, my old man's a fishcake! Sorry darlin' just 'avin' a bit of a knees up. Now, what 'ave I got to do with me old random fruiter, computer. Click on Simpson J Bart, start? Is that a spotted dick, right click, or a currant bun, lefty one?
A: I am sorry sir, I don't follow what it is you are saying
Me (in awful, 'Allo 'Allo style German drifting into Dalek): Vot vee haff here ist ein failure to Kommunikate! Kommunikate!
A: Pasties!<klik>

Now, I don't think Anna probably *did* say "pasties", but that's what it sounded like to me. Maybe she was from the west country too?


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