Hooray! A "Windows support call" to liven up my day. Today, when "Roger" asked my name I was Mr Carlton Peanuckle. "Roger" then took me through a few queries before I dropped the bomb.
CP: "Oh, which computer do you mean?"
R: "Sorry sir? The computer running Windows"
CP: "Yes, I should have mentioned - I have more than one"
R: "It is the one running Windows, sir"
CP: "Yes, they all are. I have four. Can you tell me the IP address?"
R: " Sorry sir?"
CP: "You know, the IP address. Or the processor speed. Or how much RAM there is. Or the name of the virus that I have. Or what version of the OS the apparently infected machine is running..."
R: "Sir.."
CP: "I haven't finished my list yet, Roger, and I, Carlton Peanuckle, hate to be interrupted...or when the report was sent to you. Or who my ISP is. Or who the manufacturer of the computer is. You know - any of the details that you would expect to get in a report such as the one you say you have about my computer. So, any information? Any at all?"
R: Sir, we are IT experts, trust me we know"
CP: "Sorry to interrupt, Roger, but I thought I had better mention that I, Carlton Peanuckle, have all these computers because I work as a forensic data examiner on cases of computer fraud for the police. I'm actually quite famous - a bit like Sherlock Holmes and Magnum PI. Now, what were you saying?"
R: "Ok sir, goodbye<clik>"